Narcissist

“How does it feel like?” She asked intrigued, making circles on the table with her index finger. Not really bothering to look up and show how serious she was about what she asked. 

It took him a moment to focus on her words. Wishing it were as easy to explain to someone how suffocation felt like without having an actual rope or fingers clamped round your neck. He wanted to answer her question but couldn’t figure out how to. 

“It’s like having a leech stuck to your heart, sucking and draining you dry of every emotion, every feeling, till nothing is left of you but a soulless living corpse. Empty on the inside.” He smiled sadly at his own choice of words. A look of pure confusion and disgust flickered through her features. Maybe she was trying hard to interpret his feelings, understand him but how could anyone. No one could understand how emotionally drained and numb felt like. How losing a battle felt like. How staring at your shallow self in the mirror each morning felt like. How knowing that you would give in the last drop of blood if you could and meant it was enough to make her love back, felt like. 

“Unforgivable isn’t it?” She asked sympathetically yet aloof.

“Stealing so many years of someone’s life by feeding on their emotions and making them feel worthless. Robbing them of their will power , independency, self-esteem, contentment, consent, autonomy, faith, trust rather robbing them of their entire identity. Caging them and suffocating them in the name of false love. Isn’t it rational to not being able to forgive?” His words hit a chord and she looked at him differently, understanding the gravity of being broken. Handling a betrayal or walked out on is easier than being damaged to the point of no repair. Being left with scars that won’t show on pale skin.  Years of stripping someone of who they are. How will it ever be possible to ammend such damage. She felt lost here. 

“You can heal broken bones but you can’t heal a broken mind and heart.” The raw smile he gave her, made her feel scared of how brutal some people can be behind the facade of love. How anyone can have it in them to twist and break a person by only wrapping their fragile fingers around them. How one person can control another’s entire world and decide on how to ruin them in quest of quenching their own thirsts. The power of emotions. How weak love could make someone.