Schizoid 

Intensely staring at the door exit as every student left the class one after another. He collected his stuff and shuffled them inside his bag in a haste. Giving his friend a fake smile when he signalled him to come outside already. Shaking his head left to right. As he was about to stand up in the little space available to move between the two rows of seats, he heard the teacher call for him. Asking him to stay behind.

A dozen thoughts ran through his head in question. Assumptions took place in his head within a split of seconds, one job he was overly swift with. Thinking himself through, he wasn’t the kind who fancied causing mischief, nor did low grades appealed to him, to top it he was the extremely shy kind with an introverted speck to him becuase he took pleasure in his solitude more than among a crowd of people, the thought of which crawled his skin. He never liked attention. Comfort came in staying invisible to the world. Matter at hand, no fact reciprocated as to why the teacher asked him to stay back or fathom any thought that could’ve gotten him into trouble.

He watched students leave but before giving him a confounded look and shrugging their shoulders more to themselves. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, focusing his eyes on the plants oustide the classroom window. 

The teacher called at him again, this time signalling him to follow her up to her desk. With hesitation, he grabed his bag and made his way towards her desk, intendly staring at the floor all along. On reached she asked him to have a seat. Sluggishly he sat on one of the desks in the front row. He could feel her intense gaze on him and it did nothing but made his skin crawl again. 

“Are you okay?” The question took him by surprise. He nodded his head in a yes, not once making eye contact. He looked anywhere but her. See that was his major problem, which made him look shy. He wasnt, he just dreaded making eye contact. Staring into someone’s eyes meant making one step progress into their privacy. Which also meant giving them permission to invade his private space. You see eyes hold too many emotions and he wasn’t someone who could handle any of those, he felt indifferent to them. Maybe he didn’t like people noticing how his stare lacked any emotion or interest.  

Her voice broke his train of thoughts, “Well I just wanted to talk about you. I mean I’ve been taking your classes for a year now, which is enough time to know one’s students. You always have this blank face when ever I’m teaching. I really can’t tell what you’re thinking. There’s no emotion to you. I can’t tell if you’re getting my lecture or if you’re confused? I can’t even tell if you’re happy or sad, nothing. I don’t even see you socialise much.” for once he looked up to her and stared at her for a good few seconds, not really apprehending what she was saying. The confusion clear on his face. He already knew all that. He had people around him tell him how emotionally aloof he was, plenty of times. 

Her face softened. She took a deep breath. “People like you, it’s hard to survive. People will  tend to take advantage of you all the time. It’ll be very hard. You can’t live like this. Show some flexibility. You have to live this world.” She gave him a sad smile but pitty was written all over her face. She slightly pat him on the shoulder and started towards the door to leave. He stared after her. After a moment, he sourly smiled at himself, hung his bag over his shoulder and left the class to find his friend.


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